Lady Bird: The Acceptance of Love

Coming of age films are often very warmly regarded by society due to their universal nature and relatability; on occasion, a film will come around that is so modest and realistic in its plot that comfort simply radiates off the screen. Lady Bird is that film. Focusing on Catholic high school student Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson, this 2017 Greta Gerwig piece depicts a young girl’s experience of accepting not only the love of those around her, but the reality of her hometown and her hidden adoration for its subtle wonders.

The titular character, Lady Bird, is more than a bit self-centered, and often struggles to realize the needs or intentions of the people around her, be it her mother, friends, or teachers. Throughout the film, Lady Bird makes it clear that she has a primary focus on popularity and the idea of being “cool”, leading her to make questionable decisions. These decisions mostly stem from Lady Bird’s desire to feel interesting in a town that, to her, seems boring and below her. In her efforts to seem above her home and most of the people in it, Lady Bird jeopardizes her valuable relationships, like those with her mother and best friend Julie, by lying to develop friendships with others. All the new relationships Lady Bird enters, notably with Kyle, Jenna, and Danny, have their own toxic aspects either through lies she has told or vice versa. This dishonesty causes pain not only to herself, but the people around her when these relationships come crumbling down. Further revealing Lady Bird’s ever-present need for superiority is her dissatisfaction with all sensible and affordable college options that are near her home. Even after financial advice from her counselor and a clear understanding of her parents’ money troubles, Lady Bird’s narcissism prevents her from making a smart decision, solely because she wants to experience “culture” in a city more impressive than her own. This decision is one that particularly creates tension between the lead and her mother.

One of the most interesting features of this film, in fact, is the relationship Lady Bird shares with her mother, Marion. The pair can be seen arguing and butting heads throughout the near entirety of their shared screen time, but what is not as plainly expressed is the closeness in their relationship. This aspect of their mother-daughter bond is relayed through the choice to linger on very small, mundane experiences between Lady Bird and Marion, like shopping at Goodwill or sitting in the bathroom together. These small and intimate moments elucidate that Marion and Lady Bird get along much better than either of them would care to admit, and so they continue their bickers and conflicts. When these conflicts are not caused by Lady Bird’s self-centered idiosyncrasies, they are brought on by Marion’s snide comments, often digging at Lady Bird’s attitude, appearance, or behavioral quirks. Though the digs are hurtful and lead to a lot of resentment between the pair, Lady Bird misses one crucial element of them. Although she approaches it the wrong way, Marion only notices all the insignificant details about her daughter because of how much she cares for her, and the subconscious watchfulness she has over her.

Marion sometimes drowns Lady Bird in “motherly love”, which more so manifests as judgement and contempt. Similarly enough, Lady Bird shares the exact same relationship with her own hometown of Sacramento. It is referenced early on in the film by Lady Bird’s counselor that she carries a certain adoration for her town, which she immediately denies. However, through the course of the film, we get shots similar to those featuring the lead and her mother, in which Lady Bird is filmed experiencing small milestones or personal experiences in the town she claims to hate. All the specific and negligible critiques she holds over Sacramento are a result of her hidden affection and therefore increased attention to detail, drawing parallels to her own mother. By the end of the film, both these relationships culminate in one heartbreaking exile. Lady Bird abandons her home and her mother without a proper goodbye, and in this neglects the sacrifices and opportunities afforded to her by both. This character’s true feelings are revealed no more clearly than in the final scene of the film, which sees her calling her mother, to no avail, and visiting a church, which is the one thing that can provide her a sense of connection back to Sacramento.

The self-discovery and denial exhibited in Lady Bird is one that perfectly exemplifies the coming of age experience for many young girls, as well as turbulent relationships with their mothers, who are often the closest people to them, for better or worse.